i’ve been hearing this term in the context of building tech since the 2010s and I believe it is the main idea of the e/acc movement in our current decade. if you haven’t developed any software or hardware before, actually making something might feel more like an ideal than reality. for example, those of us addicted to quick sources of dopamine don’t seem fit for this challenge. Software development like any other craft requires patience and intrinsic motivation to want to build something. how can someone who can’t control their attention possibly build anything? i can think of one possibility inspired from the stories told by my dad as a true craftsman of carpentry.
i know its a misused cringey tactic for linkedin normies to tell a story about some unrelated usually blue collar worker to signal wisdom. i’m sorry they tainted this authentic storytelling method with their sinful intentions. It’s a real shame they’ve perverted this, but i’m not going to shy away from writing about my dad. i know that what i’m trying to express is coming from my heart, mind, and a real lifetime of interactions with him, not just a moment of “realization” that i wanted to share on social media for clout. i could have wrote what i’m about to say at any point during my life, but today, i just had an interesting conversation with him and felt like i understood a bit more than i did before, so it prompted me to write down the accumulation of stories and add my commentary on what sorta wisdoms i managed to pick out from his life stories. honestly, i believe i’ll have even more wisdom to share after finish writing this because he is still a part of my life and there are more stories i still haven’t heard in addition to the new experiences we will have tomorrow and so on. but, i want to write this down before i forget all the insights and thoughts i have from being around a loving and inspirational father.
back to the focus of this piece, the concept of “building”, my dad use to tinker with the just the tools and materials he had available around the house. he was poor as all Chinese not working for the government were. His older brother left school early and worked at a factory and therefore, he had access to some useful tools. without being trained or educated on how to use these resources, and as a teenager he wanted to see what he could do with these things he had access to. this is analogous to the teenagers who logon the internet in the age of the web to just see whats happening and try to copy and share some of the creations they made just messing around. just like my dad, these kids weren’t thinking about how to be successful, be famous, or make a lot money. they literally were just curious to play around with these toys in front of them and the cool toys that other people were able to make with them. in the case of my dad, these tools could make furniture like chairs and tables. furniture isn’t really a fun toy, but he said he had fun figuring out how to make it by observing other people doing it and just reverse engineering the final product all in his head! once he figured out most of it (in his head), he would go and figure out how to get the resources and tools to make it. he told me about how he didn’t have access to the materials to make sofas, so he would ask the people whom he observed about where to get it and go actually buy the amount he needed to make what he had in mind. first he would do this for his own home so that his family members can use it. but gradually as he made more and more furnitures or various types and styles, people who came over to their house, or by word of mouth through his school friends and neighbors, people would ask him to make one for them too. without any professional training or affiliations, these people saw what he was able to build and asked him to help build one for them to use. this was how he got to know people richer than him and how he became a reliable person within his community.
now once he finished school, the Chinese government is supposed to assign these graduates to job. they dont get to choose. while he waited for the assignment, he continued to make money and connections just tinkering around with the tools and skills he learned for fun. when his assignment for a factory came, he refused. he knew that he was making a living doing something that he’s good at and enjoyed making and that people needed him to make these furnitures. there was a time when the government tried to shut down his work by saying he can’t make money like this, but he argued back that he is not making a profit, only getting paid the minimum needed to live. he was confident that what he was doing is not wrong and urged the authorities to go ahead and ask everyone whom he has built furniture for whether it was a fair exchange of skill, time, and money. my dad is a very likable and generous person and generally does give more than he takes and is honest about what he can or cannot do. so with this skillset and growing connections, he just repeated how he first learned to create the chair and learned to create other things that he thought would be useful to someone or someone would ask him if he could try making something he’s never tried before and he might accept the challenge. this went on from the day he finished middle school to around his early 20s.
now it wasn’t all rainbows from here, he was still not making enough money from this hobby of his. at the time, china workers were not paid well. he heard that if he worked in hong kong he would be able to make a lot more money with his skills. he had a connection that wanted him to work for him. he saw an opportunity to explore outside his city and where he could make a better living over there. he planned a migration with some others who were interested. the migration itself is an epic story that ill tell another time, today’s story is focused on making a living while having fun building things that others want and need.
so he arrived in hong kong with no money and just a single contact. from there he worked for a company learning new skills that he might not have learned back home. eventually in his 30s he became his own boss because many clients would directly ask him to do renovations for them. he had a sorta work ethic and output that was very impressive, so he was asked to help out with little projects here and there. his time as a boss wasn’t all rainbows either, he was responsible for all the screw ups of his contractors. there was time when one of them caused a serious pipe burst in the apartment they were working in and he had to pay tens of thousands in damages to the property. even with these types of unfortunate events, he still loved to just wake up everyday and build and renovate.
eventually at age 40 he decided maybe he should get married. so he was introduced through mutuals to a Chinese woman living in Canada. He was single and saved up a lot of money and originally wanted to buy a home in hong kong, but instead he sent the money to my mom before they were even married and told her to buy a home for her and her family to live in. he would do long distance even after marriage and even after having children because he needed to continue making a living to support the family. when he came to canada to visit he would conduct his business through expensive international phone calls. eventually he would decide to move to canada to find work so that he can settle down with his family.
again, not rainbows, in fact to this day i feel bad that he made this decision. he can’t speak any english and he has no personal connections in canada. somehow he was able to find work. when he couldn’t, he would go work for his younger brother in australia for the winter. he was unemployed for a good 2 years. when he finally found work, things were ok. but, he would change employers often whenever he didn’t get along with them. at this point, he continued to utilize his 30+ years of experience in the field but because he didnt have the connections or familiarity with the canadian industry, he was underpaid and not given higher management roles. his work ethic continued to high quality and generous as he’s always been, but being overqualified for his role, made it hard for him mentally stay at these jobs.
eventually due to his impressive work ethic and output, a client who was designer would poach his talents. he would allow him to be the sole contractor for any project. this new boss would acknowledge and leverage his talents and experiences more than his former boss. now at 67? my dad is still building. he’s not simply managing, he builds. whatever projects his boss finds, he figures out how to turn his bosses designs into physical masterpieces. he tells us about how the clients always praise him (he doesn’t speak english). they ask for him to do more projects for their home or their friends or family. again through his output, people he can’t even utter a single word to, ask for his help to build something for them.
while he works under a boss on these clients projects. he also very often continues to work on random projects at home. he thinks of something he’s never done that would be nice to build for our home so that we can all enjoy it. at first, i never really understood why he wanted to build these things or modify the house at all, i always thought it was unneeded. to be honest, nothing in life is really needed. sometimes you build it because you imagined it, designed it, and it would be fun to build and probably fun to use or at least look at. in addition to these projects he is also just fixing and maintaining the house when things break or need replacements. he also does it for the neighbors and family and friends. whenever we notice an issue around the house we will ask him. if we think of an improvement for the home we will also ask him.
recently, without even asking him, he would observe our home office setup and tell us about some improvements he can make to it that we might like. he knows how to do electrical work (just through observation and trying) and knows how to run wires and cables all over the home. he’ll think about the soundproofing and lighting the heating and walls and decorations of our home offices and how he can make the space more impressive and enjoyable to work in.
now he’s not that much of a workaholic. he’ll unwind watching chinese action shows on youtube which we will often help him trouble shoot whenever he has an issue. he’ll also spend time in the front yard and back yard doing some gardening and upkeep of the lawn (one of our neighbors nominated our front yard for the ward award and we only found out when we received the message in the mail). he will also often ask us to go eat dim sum and dinners with him and our extended family. despite the dirty and rough image of carpentry work which is 100% true, my dad is actually a very clean, organized and appreciates beauty of things kinda guy. he’s also very introspective and even as a university students and white collar programmers working with just computers all day long, me and my brother find it really easy to relate with his experiences. he is really grounded in reality, keeps up with the news (mainstream media but hes a critical thinker so, suprisingly based takes), and able to engage us with stories of his experiences which are completely different from ours.
my dad is a prime example that people who didnt have the same experiences are still super similar. when im angry he knows why im angry because he’s had to learn to manage his. he doesn’t pressure me or my brother to finding a partner because he knows that the pressure wont help us find one any faster itll only cause unnecessary worries. he knows how frustrating it can be to deal with managers and disrespectful people. he knows how if feels to be backstabbed by someone he trusted (this one i havent experienced yet because im not as generous as him). he knows how it feels to be stuck on programming problem and how to eventually figure it out. he really has experienced all the same emotions that we are going through right now. he doesn’t lecture me, sometimes i even wish he had been around more when i was young instead of working out of hong kong and only visiting for a bit during our childhood.
now as an adult i really do see the value of having a fatherly figure who builds. maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t just become a manager and that he could spend more time crafting and mastering the skill that he first fell in love with as a teenager. i always felt that my dad appreciates his life and everything that he is able to do.
he has told us about how he could never learn to use the computers at his age. although i disagree, i can kinda see where he’s coming from. i don’t think theres enough reason for him to learn how to build software or hardware, if there’s still so much opportunity and joy in using his carpentry skills to change his home and the environment around him. recently he built a room to extend the living room and asked us to help him here and there. everything from digging the holes for the pillars wooden cube frame and the roof shape to the ceiling lights and electrical outlets and tiled floor he designed (all in his head, with like 1 napkin sketch lmao) and constructed using the roughed up tools and purchasing the correct quantity of raw materials to build the structure. he completed it all by him self in half a year on weeknights and weekends all while working his day job doing the exact same type of work.
he really just loves to build. he finds inspiration and beauty in being able to use his craft to create something he imagines. and he finds happiness and believes that others will appreciate his creations too. he doesn’t waste time arguing (although sometimes he still might give into it especially when my mother is saying something mid). even when he does, he always reminds us that at the end of the day we are family and after this argument, we don’t hold grudges, we simply let the moment pass and move on.
he is this way with strangers too. hes always had strong sense of belief in himself so he wont allow people to step all over him. and he’ll critique things that bother him here and there. he’s by no means a perfect saint, but i’ve come to see him as a wise man who builds. i’m always grateful that he is my dad and that he is always trying to be the best person that he can be through his actions and not his words.